I played music as my sole living for a few years and now I have a day job to help financially.  I've put a hefty responsibility on both aspects of my life. One of the perspectives I've gained over playing professionaly for 12 years is this: Remember to love it.

We're all guilty of it. We're all looking for the magic button to press to have millions of albums out there circulating and millions of dollars easily rolling into the bank account. However, during that process, I've seen many musicians including myself fall prey to the business and lose track of the art. Is any business worth victimizing your love of music? my personal oppinion is no. I stepped away from music because my drive for making a living at it showed up on stage when I would beg people, literally BEG them to buy a CD or buy this or buy that. What I forgot to do was love what I was doing. I was foolish for not seeing that; but I was called out on it.

Look up the formula for writing the perfect hit song and you'll find it. You can even attend 20 seminars in a week on songwriting and see where it takes you. It's confusing! That's the business end. It is as confusing as you want it to be.

If the only thing you're worrying about is money, you will forget your music. That's a tragedy. You're bumping up the sales team and destroying the factory. How can you sell what's not there anymore?

I'm not saying the business is mean and brutal and cruel; but it can be if you let it effect the way you write, what you write about, or what seems like the big seller at the time. As literary artists, we SHOULD embrace all the feedback we receive. Perhaps our idea of what our song was about is completely misconstrued because of one line that could help really get that point across. As an artist, I want my music to be interpreted. I want there to be a little hidden puzzle of metaphor from time to time. Most of all, I want to tell a story. I used to beg people to listen to me and now I have the honor of people actually PAYING to listen. That is an honor and a priveledge; but it's certainly not owed to me.

When you're in search of that big record deal, remember to love the music you compose. Remember to look people in the eye on the stage. Remember that, even though there's a lot of business to it, there's a heck of a lot more art. They share a bed. Art cannot sustain itself without a little business to go with it. Business of the arts cannot sustain itself without the art itself. The truth is, we NEED both.

Just remember to love it.

Another thing I've decided to do is to keep this green. I was initially going to put the lyrics in the CD; but I've decided it makes a lot more sense to have folks come to the website to see them if they so desire. Personally, i think my mumbling is only due to my inability to remember stuff.

Hmmm....what was it I was going to say next?...

Yes! so, in an effort to keep it green and use less paper, you'll see a possibly different packaging and that excites me as my one-man team of designers has informed me this is going to look really friggin good.

So tired, so happy, so curious to see what comes of it all.

I've made the mistake of bashing something and then saying I want it before. So, with that in mind, and a bluetooth nowhere near my budget, I will simply say I am jealous and I will rebel on that jealousy until I can afford one.  At which time I will probably write another entry that will ask everyone why it doesn't work correctly for me.

Recently, while in an elevator, I had the unfortunate experience to share that elevator with a gentleman wearing a bluetooth headset. The phone was neatly tucked away in his shirt pocket with its little blinking light while the bluetooth earplug was nestled perfectly in his ear with a comforting little blue light blinking only when I looked away.  Kind of like trying to catch the red light blink on the smoke detector above your bed in a hotel.

I usually don't have a problem with the bluetooth headsets -- they seem to serve a good purpose and allow people to simultaneously type things out while they're driving.  This time it was a little different. This time, the guy was looking right at me while seemingly talking to someone on the phone. I figured it had nothing to do with me because he was talking about finances or a meeting or something like that.  But the truth is that he was looking RIGHT AT ME. I'm not talking the occasional glance -- I'm talking the full-blown-might-as-well-have-been-sitting-at-a-coffe-table-with-his-hands-on-his-chin looking at me.

Needless to say (but i will) this made me feel awkward. So, as is custom when something is awkward, I grinned and spastically looked away. then back...he was still looking.  Then away.  When I got out of the elevator, I looked back and he was STILL looking at me which was really creepy now; but he looked more surprised that he had stopped on a floor he hadn't pressed.  He didn't follow me out which was nice; but I felt like a ghost he looked right through.

My theory? My theory is that bluetooth headsets now have the built-in option to make people around you disappear...or at least become amazingly inconsequential.  Now that I think about it, I REALLY want one.

My chair

There are a series of levers on both sides of the chair that will contort every single part of the chair.  On those levers are 23 different ways to chop off a finger, pinch your own leg, or pierce your ear.  Not one of those options sounds good or desireable.  My biggest problem is that, despite all of these options, I am amazingly uncomfortable.  I've tried what the "ergonomic team" has advised which is to make small adjustments on each lever until it works for your body style and hand placement.  The trouble with that is the placement of the adjustment levers themselves -- they have been conveniently placed under the chair completely out of reach in a normal sitting posture.  The only one I'm comfortable with is up and down.  the others are debateably useful.

1. Seat back height - doesn't go high enough for me
2. Seat bottom shift - That's a lot
3. Seat back angle to seat bottom - seriously?
4. Seat bottom angle to seat back - yup, that's a different lever.
5. Mysterious immoveable shift lever - mysterious and immoveable.

Now, the biggest issue with all of this is that I've driven semi's with fewer levers.  I was very comfortable. I'm working on a way to get this to be comfortable; but I'm afraid the chair wants nothing to do with it -- I've asked it.